1st November.  We had a free day in Kandy today. After breakfast Sally, Andrew and I walked into town went to the ATM and managed to get the group photo printer for giving to Suresh at the end of the trip. From there we took a tuktuk ride to the Botanical Gardens which were really beautiful. There wasn’t a lot in flower but the trees were truly impressive. The toilets were plentiful and clean and the cafe served good and inexpensive food.

Kandy Lake and Queens Hotel downtown Kandy.

Flowers and trees with weird roots, Kandy Botanica gardens.

        

On the way back into town we stopped at a government-run craft outlet. Much the best place to shop with prices fixed, authenticity guaranteed and no hustling. In the evening we went to the elegant Queens Hotel where David and Angie were fascinated by the lift and David ended up being nominated “Dick of the Day”. We went from there to a local restaurant in town for dinner.

        

2nd November. To-day is the toughest day with a 2000m climb to Nanu-Oya, the highest town on the Island. The trip notes recommend that if you do not like climbing you take the train. I took the train. It was 2 hours late and I did not get to the grand old |St Andrew’s colonial hotel till 3.30. On the train I sat with a lovely family of three generations with two delightful little girls. They gave me the window seat and offered to share their lunch with me. The views from the train were spectacular as we rose through pine forest, tea plantations and cloud villages.

At Peradeniya station prior to departure

        

Some of the people sharing the journey.

Life as seen through the train window.

           

Changing trains and stations.

        

The changing scene on route from paddy to pine forest to tea estates.

       

On arrival I shared a taxi with an Italian for R300. The hotel is a Grand Old Lady of colonial vintage and very gracious. After dumping my stuff in the room I headed for town. I met an English woman called Tracey who has just self published a coffee table book on Sri Lanka. We strolled round the town together. There was quite a strong Christian influence with a large church dedicated to St Francis Xavier and a couple of convents, one a huge complex. There were also quite  a few colonial era buildings. The extraordinary red brick Post Office among them.

In and arround St. Andrews Hotel

       

Arround town in Nuwara Eliya

  

When I got back to the hotel the team had just arrived. After cleaning up we went to Suresh’s room for drinks. The bar was dry due to Diwali festival. There the next “Dick of the Day” was selected in the person of Nigel (for the second time. I should actually start calling this ritual by its new name. In response to Suresh’s pre meal admonitions to “Do Maximum Damage” it has now been dubbed “The Maximum Damage Award” or for the purposes of this journal the “max-dam”. After drinks, it being The St Andrews Hotel”  Andy piped us in to the dining room to much amusement all round.

At dinner Suresh presented us with a King of the Hill cake with bike on and all our names. Even mine although I had not cycled. A lovely touch.

3rd November We had a slightly later start than usual because although we were scheduled to cover 66k there was a lot of downhill. After a short ride we visited a local tea factory. We had to wear aprons and caps and made a comical picture. Unfortunately we were not allowed to take photos in the factory. This was a shame as the machinery was mostly about 100 years old, the book-keeping ledgers were huge and looked like something out of Dickens and the tasting room was a work of art in dark wood and brass.

 

The beautifully cultivated valley floor looking very productive and boasting a couple of seriously up-market houses.

We continued our ride along the main road that was not too crowded probably because it was Sunday. After a while I found myself alone which wasn’t a great concern except that I did not see anyone else for such a long time that I thought I must have missed a turning somewhere. I eventually stopped at a roadside vegetable stall and managed with no common language to ascertain that the village of Kettipola on my map was just down the road and that our tea stop at Welimada was about 5k away, that I should take their photo and that, by the way, here is our address to which we expect you to post it!

I caught up with the group at the lunch stop and we were joined by a seriously fit looking bunch of young Sri Lankan cyclist. They were on a 150k ride going up the hill we had just come down! A little way down the road Sally had a puncture. I stopped and two delightful little boys on big bikes tried to render assistance but it was not long before the back-up vehicle arrived.

Our next tea stop was in a real Tea House with a shop attached where all things tea related could be purchased. The tea was wasted on me but the china in the display cabinets was quite beautiful.

 

Having cycled 60 of the 66k and knowing that the last 6 were up hill I decided to ride them. The Hotel was very new. There were no hair dryers, no toiletries, no tea making equipment etc. However the views were spectacular and the rooms spacious and well furnished.

4th November

Andy got the “max-dam” award and wore it with aplomb as we set off for what would be a long day for the cyclists. I had decided to give the knees a rest and ride in the bike truck. Although not air-conditioned it drives at the back slowly and doesn’t mind stopping for photos.  One of the item along the road that merited a photo was the curd containers that in this area were composed of clay pots stacked one on top of the other and tied together with string.

Whilst riding in the pick-up truck I had an interesting discussion with the driver about political parties in Sri Lanka. The Peoples Independent Party uses the image of Che Guevara to promote its image and garner votes but is not particularly socialist once elected. It was quite intriguing to see the posters along the route.

We went to see another site with huge Buddha’s carved into the rock face and then followed a lake and a canal that gave us the opportunity to watch people fishing. It was a long hot ride and I was quite happy to have been it the truck. The hotel was really nice with everything one could wish for including a pool and a miniature lake with resident kingfishers. In the evening we went to the Kataragama temple to watch a ceremony.

       

                       

5th November The day started with a short ride round the lake. There was plenty of bird life including pea-cocks which are prolific in this area. There were also fruit bats. 40k later we were back in the hotel for lunch and time out prior to leaving on a game drive at 2.30pm. We had a maniac driver whose sole purpose seemed to be to get to the end of the drive as fast as possible. The most exciting things we saw were a painted stork and a bush pig. At the turn around point we saw the memorial to the people who had been killed in that area by the Tsunami and were reminded that 55,000 Sri Lankans lost their lives on that fateful day in 2004.

          

6th November. Another short ride of about 36k today as we headed down to the coast and the roads got busier. We stopped at Hambantota and got into the bus for a hot & sticky 2 hour transfer. Our hotel rooms were positively palatial and the resort was right on the beach. Spent the afternoon swimming, walking the beach and playing fun if silly games. We were all presented with lovely hardwood mortar and pestles. Dinner was in the hotel.

7th November. Later start this morning after which we will transfer to the hotel used by the normal departure groups where our bikes were waiting for us for a short 40k ride round Koggala Lake. A really nice ride with the opportunity to watch a throw net fisherman, visit a coiya plant (very primitive) and play “Cats Cradle” with some school children. After the ride we said goodbye to our drivers and cycle guides and gave them their gratueties. We then went by bus to the government Craft Outlet where we did some shopping before some of us were dropped at the Port of Galle. We spent some hours wandering the winding streets of this quaint and ancient quarter encircled by walls. Just outside the walls is a huge round-about in the middle of which is the Sri Lankan Cricket ground. There were churches of every denomination from Islam to Anglican and Dutch reformed to Methodist. I think the big one on the hill outside the fort area was possibly Catholic and a new Hindu Temple was being built just up from the bus station. One of the things that has impressed me here is the apparent compatibility of the many diverse religions. We got lost in the winding streets, caught in the rain and then got the bus back to the resort.

        

Around the quaint streets of Galle.

       

Some of the many places of worship in Galle.

       

The Galle Lighthouse.

Fascination was also provided by the well designed and multi-lingual street signs as they reflected the history of the place and its various occupations.

             Scattered along the beach was an array of colourful fishing boats as colourful as the flags of Nations strung along the battlements and round the cricket pitch, which situated as it is in a huge traffic island must be one of the most exciting places in the world to watch a test match.

       

Angie sporting the Max-Dam headgear and the staff that will be leaving us today.

Amila (driver)

Dasund (cycle guide)

&

Sandip ( trainee)

As Nigel and Jane would be leaving the group tomorrow morning we decided to do the farewell presentation to Suresh this evening. There was a local band playing at dinner consisting of 2 guitars and a drummer. First Jo and David took over the guitars and gave us a rendition of a song Jo had written. I was impressed with the way that David took about a nano second to pick up the melody and provide an attractive accompaniment.

Thereafter followed variations on themes from the Beetles to Scottish folklore rendered by Andy & Sally and David & Dave. So far we have been able to crown all but one (Dave Jones) of the group of four that introduced the original “Dick of the Day” award with the increasingly embellished headgear. Dave managed to adroitly duck the issue again on the final straight as it was deemed more appropriate that Suresh should have the honor of taking the trophy home!

Friday 8th.  Some of the group went off to watch Wales this morning in the hope of viewing a big blue. For me it was a disappointment as the only wales we saw were the Southern Wright, which we see much more easily and closer up from the promenade not 5k from my home in the Cape. We had distant glimpses of dolphin and a sea turtle. The fishing harbour from which we left was by far the most exciting sight of the day.

     

The group all met up in Galle for lunch before setting off on the bus for Colombo. On the way we had a puncture and had to pull off the highway to get a new tyre. Back on the Expressway again we were all shocked by a loud bang which was caused by a stone, probably thrown from the bridge we had just passed under, shattering the windscreen right in front of Suresh. While he was visibly shaken both he and the driver kept their heads and bought the vehicle to a safe standstill. No one was cut. The police and expressway patrol people came and took statements and photos after which we continued on our way without further incidents.

Saturday 9th. Hannie, Sally and I went to try to find vanilla pods at various supermarkets on the main road behind the hotel. We were not successful. On our return I decided to take the train into town. The stations and their environs were antiquated and charming.

     

Downtown Colombo was a disappointment around the fort area as, in my view, it has been spoilt by the demolition of whatever was of historic interest and the building of large modern luxury hotels. I did manage to find some delightful alleyways in what must have been the muslim quarter that were vibrant and dilapidated in the same moment.

       

There was a special festival at one of the Bhudist temples today and I saw my second elephant of the trip. They do not loom as large in everyday life in Sri Lanka as they do in India.

       

Back at the hotel with time for a quick swim and a freshen up before taking the bus with Hannie, Sally and Andy to the airport. Many of the roads in town had been closed earlier in the day due to the arrivals of various Heads of State for the Commonwealth Conference and for this reason a portion of the highway to the airport was also closed resulting in a delightful drive alongside the Hamilton Canal. This canal started at the instigation of  british government agent, Gavin Hamilton, ran parallel to the canal built  in the 15th century by the Sinhalese King Vira Parakramabahu VIII and enhanced by the Dutch, thus gaining the name “The Dutch Canal”. It has been dogged with disaster over the years including resulting in the flooding of the productive paddy fields with saline water and causing their destruction which resulted in riots against the King. However on this, the afternoon of our departure, it was a gentle sight reminiscent of the Joy that this trip has given me.

Below are the lyrics of the songs written and performed by members of the group for the last evening and Dan’s recolections on his return home.

Maximum Damage (to the tune of Elton John’s “Your Song”)

It’s a little bit funny, that feeling down there

All tender and sore and in much need of care …… but

I’ve lost all my feelings and my nethers are bruised

My legs are all shot and my bum needs to be soothed

Our shirts are all sweaty and our shorts are a mess

Our gloves and our helmets, well they’re not at their best….. but

Because of the heat and the sun cream and deet

Our clothes are all smelly when once they were neat

And you can tell everybody that smell is your pong

And when on the bike it’s incredibly strong

It’s such a disgrace, such a disgrace and I just need to say

How smelly we all are at the end of the day

We expected the worst when we first_met our tour guide

His name is Suresh and his job is his pride . ….. but

He likes to eat food and he coined a new phrase

Maximum damage – the new Sri Lanka craze

We’ve eaten all day, loads of food, lots of spice

We’ve had lots of curries with mountains of rice …… but

Our stomachs were flat but now they are large

Do “Maximum Damage” said the man in charge

And you can tell everybody about our tour guide

His name is Suresh and he never can hide

It’s such a disgrace, such a disgrace and I just need to say

How maximum damage can lead you astray

It’s such a disgrace, such a disgrace and I just need to say

How maximum damage can lead you astray

(C) Jones and Charles, November 2013

====================================================

This bloody pot holed road (to the tune of the Beatles “ob la di, ob la da”

Shuresh has a bike tour, goes all over the place, Joe he is a singer in a band,

Dan he jay walks blithely, can’t hear motor bikes, and Sandy goes well on her breakfast bran

 

Monique asks the masseur not to go so far, she’s worried as he has wandering hands,

Dave Jones eyes the reinvigorating cream and wonders will it perk up his saddle sore gland.

 

This bloody pot holed road it goes on, aarrgh, blimey how this road goes on.

This bloody potholed road it goes on, aarrgh, blimey how this road goes on.

 

Sallys speciality is falling off, she can even do it when she’s standing still

Jane cycles in Lycra, makes her very fast and leaves her husband stranded somewhere down the hill

 

Richard is our Wiggins he needs slowing down, -we need to weigh him down to make him wilt

Andy is a Scotsman and he plays the pipes, that’s why he cycles with such a melodic lilt.

 

Corinne is a life coach so can she explain why we should be cycling up these hills,

David is a doctor, his prescription is -that we should all be taking some go faster pills

 

This bloody pot holed road it goes on, aarrgh, blimey how this road goes on.

This bloody potholed road it goes on, aarrgh, blimey how this road goes on.

 

In a couple of miles we’ll stop at a bakery,

We’ll down a bun and a ginger beer, then rush upstairs to have a pee.

 

David drinks a stout that’s eight point five percent proof,- no wonder he slides slowly ‘neath the table,

Angie is a twitcher eyeing up the birds, she gets her binos out whenever she is able.

 

Eve she sprained her ankle just before we came, -it’s better now as we can plainly see,

She asks hotels for ice to soothe her injury, but in her room she adds it to her G and T

 

This bloody pot holed road it goes on, aarrgh, blimey how this road goes on.

This bloody potholed road it goes on, aarrgh, blimey how this road goes on.

 

In a couple of miles we’ll stop at a bakery,

We’ll down a bun and a ginger beer, then rush upstairs to have a pee.

 

Nigel explores each and every garden centre! -can this trip be a business expense

And Hannis close encounter with a big monkey -left her all a quiver and really quite tense.

 

Shuresh makes sure we are fully fed and watered, -do maximum damage at the buffet,

Next morning no wonder we all wake up -with bloated guts and eyes all red and puffy

 

This bloody pot holed road it goes on, aarrgh, blimey how this road goes on.

This bloody potholed road it goes on, aarrgh, blimey how this road goes on.

 

(C) Charles and Jones, November 2013

===========================================================

==You’llYak The High Road (an ancient Sri LankanOde)

You’ll tak the high road, and I’lltak the low road

And I’ll be in Colombo afore ya

It took us all three days just to cycle 20K’s

‘Cos we seemed to go in circlesround Dambulla

In Sri Lanka the hikers and bikers andcyclers

Are all so very courteous and inviting

But the drivers of Tuk-Tuks andLanka-Ashok-Leyland trucks

Make Londoncabbies seem quite law abiding.

At night we chose the “Dick of theDay”, its very democratic we all have our say

Or “The Award for Maximum Damage”as it’s been rebranded

For who so ever a bus overtook, or triedto race a red Tuk-Tuk

Or from their bicycle on their bottomslanded.

Dan he was the first to win for committingsome such cardinal sin

But Nigel wasn’t very long behindhim

And Sally as we know was lathered up withno where to go

Whilst the Candid Camera caught David’stumble for him.

Nigel won again (with out trying). AndAndy’s convicted of industrial spying

For taking photos in a top secret teaplantation.

Next, for multiple crimes, Monique, Tho’with her bats she looks trés chique

They must be part of her birthdaycelebration.

On the back road poor Eve came a cropper.As witness the bruise on her leg – it’s a whopper

The Angie won the award despite stiff competition.

On this the last day that we ride as ateam, I think you’ve been set up Suresh – what I mean

Is that this verse was written even beforewe left England.

Well now we’ve come to the end of ourtour, and soon will be home where the weather is dour

Cape Town, Switzerland,the UK and America

To Suresh and the rest of the crew, wewould all sincerely like to thank you

For showing us your home, the island of Sri Lanka.

As the grey muscular trunk suddenly raised high over myhead, I feared I was about to be thumped but the red thick tongue appeared to motion that I should put the very last yellow banana directly into its mouth.  After I did, the trunk came down,and I swear, that elephant smiled.

A week earlier, as I was preparing to leave on my periodic “sweat-on-some-distant-land”  adventure, I was looking up simple Singhalese words to master.   To my surprise, the Sri Lankan people have numerous greetings – Aayubowan (may you live long) or Kohomadha (how are you)but they have no word for “hello or hi”. The traditional customary greeting in that country would be to simply – smile. ……Whoa, stop the mental presses, a smile instead of “hi”?  A deed versus words? My mind immediately raced with spinning questions about how this could be, what it said about the people,culture, and land – now dubbed in my mind as “the-land-without-a-word-for-hi”.

As the plane landed on a late October Sunday morn, the first thing that greets you in this tropical country is the brilliant colors of flowering vegetation followed immediately by breaths of hot humid vaporizer-likeair that displaces the stale cabin air endured over 20 hours.  I was there to join a two week bicycle tour covering roughly 500 miles to experience the sights, culture, and rural backcountry of “the-land-without-a-word-for-hi”.

With 15 of my newest best friends -12 Brits, 2 South Afrikaners,and 1 Swiss- we joined our guide “Suresh”and staff to journey hours inland to Dambulla in center of this country where ourcycle adventure would begin the following morn.   Suresh’s instructions at breakfast were fairly simple – do not overtake and pass any public buses while riding and do “maximum damage” to all breakfast/lunch/dinner buffets and bars that we encounter.   Since many Sri Lankans do not own cars, the country has a very efficient bus system that appears to service both main and back roads every 10 minutes or so and these buses have no patience for tourists-on-bicycles that might slow their entrepreneurial equation of maximizing passengers and miles in the least time.    Given the distances we biked most days, it was a joy to rediscover our long-dormant teenage metabolisms and follow the simple “see-food-do-maximum-damage” rule.    Regarding our numerous violations of the “bus”rule, I credit a carefree that must have returned with those metabolisms.

Over the coming days, we cycled main roads, back roads, anddirt paths.  A simple taxonomy of things encountered could be divided into two groups – things with horns and things without.     These motorized horns have either two,three, four, or six wheels.     The things without horns have either two flip-flops, two pedals, four paws and tail, or four hoofs and tail. Dogs, secure in their knowledge they live in aBuddhist land, choose to nap in the middle of roads.  This napping and mobile menagerie engages in a street symphony that fits multiples of things on lanes meant for one with near collisions at intersections adjudicated by the staccato of horns and quick reflexes, not traffic signals.   One day we climbed more than 3000 feet to the cool highlands of tea country and the following we rocketed back to the lowland oven of heat.    We taught schoolchildren a game with strings, climbed rocks, fed elephants and chased whales.    We nicked guitars from hotels bands and damaged the art of songwriting.   We awarded a “tiara of distinction” for best stunt of the day to be proudly worn the following. Two weeks of sweat – now a memory.

Foremost in this memory is the full up, full on, wide-toothysmile of the Sri Lankan people as we rode by in the countryside.   Never have I encountered such a proud,unabashed full-teeth smile.   Whether the owner has perfect teeth or teeth with “character”, it is a masterpiece offacial happiness.    I attempted to imitate but failed completely.    I‘ve either lost those muscles or my American forefathers have.   No wonder they don’t need a word for“hi”.   Finally, it began to dawn that our bicycletrip must be a conundrum to the Sri Lankan people.     Most don’t have cars but likely aspire tothem.  Here was wealthy westerners that owned cars, yet shunned them to tour their country on bicycles.    We asked Suresh about this, he confessed afrequent question from locals was “Are they crazy?”    Maybe this explains those smiles, but Idon’t’ think so.    In the end such a question will only be answered in time as an epiphany.     My hope is that as others visit Sri Lanka they will begin to ask the “what happen to our own full up, full on wide toothy smiles?” and rediscover a lost truth.